It's hard to get noticed in general. The rate of acceptance in most "professional" (i.e. >$0.05/word, not really enough to live on, but...eh, money) is <1%. Writing fiction is tough!

The best advice I could give you is to find someone or other to critique you. And to give a good honest critique (which will sting, but which will help if you're willing to listen to the advice and take most of it). My favorite so far has been www.critters.org, although www.critquecircle.com is also decent.