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Sharing. When do you determine who, when and how?

I'm very wary of sharing any of my writing beyond silly little things I care nothing about. It's like a native fear of picture taking - if they see it, they will steal my soul!

But there are precautions in sharing, especially things you're currently working on - or at least I think so, anyway. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I can't imagine I'm the only one who feels this way. Of course, I am a little extreme - I can't seem to let go of even one sentence. I was going to ask people to share a sentence from what they're currently writing, something that may sum up the gist of the story, but I don't know if I could reciprocate. Yes, yes, that is paranoid, isn't it. But I don't know you, you don't know me... we could all be soul stealers, who can say?

So how do you know when to share, with whom, and at what stage?

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Yes, exactly, and there is the time commitment. If you're not getting paid, it can be difficult to rise to it. I'm sol under the circumstances, and yet I can't imagine shoving an entire manuscript onto someone, much less a stranger. That's asking for a slap.

For me, it's a matter of being grabbed by the premise at the very least, or the first paragraph. Hence the challenge of getting published, as I think the same applies. And it's luck. If i'm feeling less than generous, it's a no go. Then again, I'm not being paid to read manuscripts... though I think that doesn't always register in the minds of those who are.

I'm always rather amazed at the total strangers who are like, "Read and critique my novel!" It's really annoying. (And, yeah, sometimes I read the first paragraph and am tempted to rip it apart brutally. Usually I delete without reading.)

Of course, reciprocation is what drives groups like Critters and Critique Circle. The idea is that you *have* to critique in order to be critiqued. But that can drive interesting dynamics where people crit stuff they hate, as they have to keep their own counts up. *shrugs* And it also can drive some really lousy critiques, as quality often matters far less than does just getting the words in. (And let's be frank, I could probably write a generic, "OMG, I loved this story so much! Your plot totally engrossed me, and your characters were great and so sympathetic!" critique and copy and paste it to every story...while not having a single angry author...and even if I didn't do that, 200 words of mindless gush is easier to write than a thorough critique.)

I do think that getting a critique from someone you don't know relies a lot upon having a strong opening and a good first few pages. (Same for being published.) That said, there is some reciprocation, so if you agree to critique four or five people's work, one is bound to say "sure" and do the same for you. And, of course, people who've only read a bit by you are more likely to critique if your story is short...

But either way, there's definitely a supply/demand imbalance. For this reason, I tend to get irritated at people who demand that their critiques only match their "demands". (i.e. the authors who go "I demand at least two nice things said about my story for every critique!" Which I find kind of hilarious as none of the major online critique groups allow you to pull that kind of thing.) If the supply/demand imbalance was reversed, it would make perfect sense. But as it's the other way around, I figure that authors should be lucky for almost any constructive feedback they get. (I certainly feel that way.)

I didn't know that about the groups. Based on that alone, I'll skip it. I'm not saying there's no worth, just for me it doesn't seem like what I'm willing to partake in.

I'm happy to critique, in fact I gain a lot of insight. Then again, I have nothing else taking up my precious time, outside of my own work. Right now I'm fortunate that I can devote myself to writing only, and I'm relishing every moment. I realize I'm lucky, if only briefly.

While I can, I'll take time to build relationships so that I can give and take equally. This is my first foray into engaging in a group focused on writing, and I'm learning a lot.

Don't get me wrong...most people in the groups are genuinely trying to improve the writing of the other members. *shrugs* But to make them work, people have to review. And this can result in frustrated/grumpy/over worked people reviewing as they know they need to get one more in to be caught up or whatever. (And, to a certain extent, you get what you get. I've gotten everything from, "OMG, that's so helpful!" to "useless, delete" reviews. The nice thing is that most of the time you get 4-40, so even if you have to trash two, you've still got some advice.)

Also, some people suck at critiquing. It's a skill like most others. Someone at Critters said that 1/3 of the members were helpful, 1/3 were at least trying, and 1/3 were way out there. Sadly, that's true with any open writing group. (And the reason you see a lot which are invite/application only.)

In an ideal world, I definitely think that finding a few perfect critique partners is best. But finding them can be incredibly difficult. And it tends to only happen through interacting with others in a writing community. (Which, of course, include things like Critters, Critique Circle, Absolute Write Water Cooler, etc.)

Time invested. That seems fair enough. btw Niniane - Nimue, Merlins lover? Or I may be mistaken, my lore come from Mary Stewart, I'm a trusting soul. Sole. Sol. Anyhoo, I really thank you for this exchange, you have helped a great deal.

Yup, Niniane = the most archaic version of Niniane/Nimue/Vivian/Nineve, whatever. ;) I was very into Arthurian legend as a teenager! (And Mary Stewart was fairly good with her lore. It varies all over the place, but she at least attempted to take in multiple accounts and merge them with history, etc. etc. OMG, I could go on for ages about Arthuriana. I am such a nerd!)

Critiquing is definitely a time invested thing. I've found that you tend to get out of it what you put in. (i.e. the very active members tend to get more and better crits). It's like any hobby, really. ;) I'm glad it helped, regardless. I always recommend critiques (and crit groups), but over a decade of them has given me some idea as to both their strengths and weaknesses!

She was! And that's partially why I loved her books. I was, too (into the Arthurian legend) - in fact, I think it was she who showed me that story could be melded with history and legend to create something that was beautiful and readable and relatable.

You're right, and I do value investing my time into beneficial relationships.

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