I like the slightly disconnected feel to most of it... it has that 'Hotel California' feel (if you know what I mean). Unfortunately I think if you are going to fragment the world just so, then you need a stronger ending to make it feel satisfactory. Waking up at home - even with the extra dog and cat - felt a bit too much like the 'and then I woke up' endings of childhood writings.
Unlike Niniane I'm not bothered about plot. Stories like this one - wistful, confused glimpes into a mental landscape - often don't have a defined plot. Being a slice of life and dreams is alright, I think.
It also needs a damn good edit, as it's chock-full of minor errors.
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I like the slightly disconnected feel to most of it... it has that 'Hotel California' feel (if you know what I mean). Unfortunately I think if you are going to fragment the world just so, then you need a stronger ending to make it feel satisfactory. Waking up at home - even with the extra dog and cat - felt a bit too much like the 'and then I woke up' endings of childhood writings.
Unlike Niniane I'm not bothered about plot. Stories like this one - wistful, confused glimpes into a mental landscape - often don't have a defined plot. Being a slice of life and dreams is alright, I think.
It also needs a damn good edit, as it's chock-full of minor errors.