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intothewood and analect.
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Have questions or want to discuss something? Fire away! Want some feedback on a piece of writing you're working on? Post it! Stuck with research, or found a fabulously useful resource others might benefit from? Step up and share!
We expect a level of maturity in our members, but we're open to all genres and levels of experience. Read full details on the comm profile or, if you need help, contact your friendly mods,
intothewood and analect._____________________________
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Date: 2011-09-03 01:48 am (UTC)I like the slightly disconnected feel to most of it... it has that 'Hotel California' feel (if you know what I mean). Unfortunately I think if you are going to fragment the world just so, then you need a stronger ending to make it feel satisfactory. Waking up at home - even with the extra dog and cat - felt a bit too much like the 'and then I woke up' endings of childhood writings.
Unlike Niniane I'm not bothered about plot. Stories like this one - wistful, confused glimpes into a mental landscape - often don't have a defined plot. Being a slice of life and dreams is alright, I think.
It also needs a damn good edit, as it's chock-full of minor errors.