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intothewood and analect.
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Have questions or want to discuss something? Fire away! Want some feedback on a piece of writing you're working on? Post it! Stuck with research, or found a fabulously useful resource others might benefit from? Step up and share!
We expect a level of maturity in our members, but we're open to all genres and levels of experience. Read full details on the comm profile or, if you need help, contact your friendly mods,
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Date: 2011-10-04 07:46 am (UTC)Gawwwwd, the names thing. Yes. If I had a penny, etc. etc... I think it's just that sentence, though, not a big thing. If it was me, I'd go with
"Agitated, Rupert breaks from his touch. He throws off Amadeo’s hands [...]"
or something similar. Just breaking the sentence gives you the chance to shift it slightly, without losing what is a very nice, illustrative phrase. Just a thought, though.